I was 31 years old and I went to the doctors for asthma review medication review, but somehow ended up talking about my fertility.

I had some initial tests, including bloods which I thought was all routine. However, I started to panic when I was asked to attend the surgery in person to get the results.

The doctor told me I had a low AMH level which can affect fertility. She then referred me to the fertility clinic.

I was worried, both my partner and I wanted a baby. When I first attended the clinic after I got these results I went home and spoke to my partner and we discussed what would happen. I was devastated we were upset and scared.

The HSG was normal as well as the internal scan, blood and sperm tests. I was told I had an unexplained fertility problem.

I was heartbroken. I listened to the treatment options which were essentially trying for longer or IVF. We chose IVF.

The waiting list wasn’t long but I had to lose half a stone. I cut back on takeaways, stuck to a diet and did some more exercise. We started IVF within six months.

The first cycle was hard. All I kept thinking about was kids. When I was told none of my eggs had fertilised I was broken. I didn’t expect it to fail at this stage. My mental health wasn’t good to start, and when it didn’t work it broke me down. I had good support around me, but we decided to wait a bit for the next go.

When I was told none of my eggs had fertilised I was broken. I didn’t expect it to fail at this stage.

A month later I fell pregnant naturally. The pregnancy didn’t last long and I miscarried a few weeks later.

A few months later we started the second cycle. I’d just received my medicines and was all ready to go when I got a call. The cycle was cancelled because of COVID. Gutted doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

In May, we got a call to say we would start again if we were happy to do so. This cycle didn’t work either. I was admitted to hospital poorly after the embryo transfer. I required pain relief overnight, but it soon settled. On the morning I was discharged I had a negative pregnancy test–another cycle failed.

This broke me again. This time I was told I had a cyst on my ovary but not big enough to affect treatment. I was confused.

I am seeing a mental health nurse because I have depression. It’s horrible.

Next year we are starting our third cycle. I have been offered egg donation but decided not to go down that route because it is expensive.

I’m not sure how my story is going to end.

I’m not sure how my story is going to end. Perhaps it will work, but I’m resigned to the fact it won’t. Maybe we will adopt, but I don’t want to think about that too much yet.


Fertility problems are extremely personal and not everyone wants to share their identity in public. Thank you to those who contribute to the work of this project.