At the start of our fertility journey I had the hysterosalpingogram (HSG) x-ray test. This will test if my uterus is working properly and my tubes are able to carry eggs that I produce in my (insufficient) ovaries to my uterus which will implant and become a fetus.
Ouch! Slight discomfort and pain–think really bad period pain x 10 as they inject dye into your uterus which then passes through your tubes showing a normally functioning uterus.
Again I watched the screen as this happened. I’m no doctor but I could see the dye was only coming out one side.
But what do I know, so we wait to see the doctor again to give us the results.
Here I am thinking – we know what the problem is, I have premature ovarian insufficiency (POI), so I’m pretty sure everything else is normal. Wrong!
I am now the lucky owner of Asherman’s syndrome. A rare condition in which you have scar tissue in the uterus. This scar tissue makes the walls of the this organ stick together and reduces the size of the uterus. In other words, I cannot fall pregnant.
This hit me like a ton of bricks. And those ugly words come spilling out again “I’m not meant to be a mom, I did this, my body is weak and broken”
But surprisingly, this diagnosis is actually the easiest one to bare. My doctor immediately tells me that he can fix this with surgery where he will remove the scar tissue and a month later, I will be able to fall pregnant. And just like that, this is the moment I look at the doctor and I just know that he will give us the greatest gift we will ever receive. I know that with him and his team, we will have our baby.
Playing the Waiting Game
I’ve spoken about this before but there is so much to wait for while trying to conceive (TTC) and IVF. And just as you feel proud of yourself for making it through your wait… another one starts again.
Period, day 3 and day 5 post retrieval, two week wait (TWW), Embryo Transfer (ET), (Frozen Embryo Transfer) FET, surgery, your next IVF cycle, first trimester, third trimester and the beautifully anticipated birth.
The truth is, we never stop waiting. Until our precious gift is lying safe in our arms, we will anxiously wait, forever worrying that something might go wrong.
I am waiting for two things:
- The call about our third embryo’s development.
- My period so that I can schedule hysteroscopic surgery to correct my ashermans syndrome (scarring on the uterus)
Getting ready for surgery
This is my third period since starting IVF and this one means I can finally schedule my hysteroscopic surgery for to remove the scarring inside my womb. Once the scarring is removed, my uterus will be ready to carry our frozen embaby 💛. To say I’m excited is an understatement!
Tomorrow, the scarring in my uterus will be removed making it possible for me to fall pregnant.
It’s strange to think that no matter how hard we’ve tried, I’ve never been able to fall pregnant.
They say trust your gut, and goodness me, I trusted it this time! If I hadn’t been so paranoid, who knows how many years we we would have continued to try in vain. To all the ladies out there, trust the little voice in your head, she knows what she’s talking about.
I can’t wait for transfer day once I’m all healed up after this surgery.
Fluffy blanket and a good book. Such a great comfort post surgery.
I could not be happier right now. Pain and discomfort aside, we are one step closer to our little bean.
Surgery went well, scarring removed. Will be on hormones for the next month to prepare my uterus for transfer.